No pain No gain

Well, Today was my last Physical Therapy for now. It takes a lot to keep going once PT is over. For those of you who struggle with physical issues I want to urge you to keep going! It takes a physical and emotional toll on you. It is when you don;t see instant results that things get hardest. Just set your mind and keep going! I have found that it helps to have people checking in with you to make sure you are doing well. Don’t let yourself stop working towards your goals! make a list of small things you want to do and check off those you work up to then look at the ones you have done and remind yourself of how far you have made it! Goals are wonderful things to have! I pray that God blesses you and gives you peace as you push through towards your goals!


My Voice For Her Life

My Voice for Her Life

My mouth shall speak the praise of the Lord: and let all flesh bless his holy name for ever and ever. Psalm 145:21

It is that moment every woman lives in fear of. The one you feel in slow motion as you are told the fateful words medical emergency. You find yourself being whisked passed a crowed of ill people who can wait to a room reserved for you because this time you can’t wait. Lying helpless on a bed in a hospital ER you realize just how short life really is. This is not a random story I am telling, but the story of my first pregnancy. As it has been said before, this is the ugly truth; my truth. 

        Who the people are around me name for name is really not important, but the person inside of me is very important.  For this is my voice for her life. She is my daughter and my blessing from God. Today she is 12 years old and I am her Mother.

        It was July 14th 1999 and I was four months pregnant. Having lost suddenly the use of my legs and developed spasms it was determined that I should undergo a non-dye MRI. Having seen my films the tech rushed out handed them to me and told my husband to drive me straight to the local ER the doctors were waiting to admit me. I will never forget this day it was my birthday and the first time I had ever come face to face with the abortion mentality.

        If you would have told me the year before as I wrote a paper arguing against abortion that a day would come that I would have to argue face to face with a doctor for the life of my child I would not have believed you. Standing in front of my senior class reading my hot topic paper just a year before I was so naive to what this topic meant to me and any child I should bare.

        There in that hospital room faced with a life threatening illness I discovered the ugly side of medicine. As the doctor painted a clear picture of the only option he had in mind for my health care I found myself repulsed and angered as well as terrified. I said to the doctor I will not have an abortion several times. His view was that I was not excepting of the medical situation. So he turned to my husband trying to get consent to abort our child and do the needed spinal surgery to remove the tumor that was killing me. He simply refused to give me another option right away.

        After a long verbal battle he finally gave me option number two. He felt then I should allow surgery to be done while I was pregnant and they would simply give my child no regard. If the baby lived so be it if not so be it. I couldn’t live with that. I knew in my heart they would let her die. It was not an option any more worthy of choice than the one before. Having voiced my objection and made very clear that under no circumstance   would I allow my child’s life to be treated as less than equal to my own the doctor then turned once more to my husband. He made it clear that if I would not willingly do as he wished he could then find me mentally incompetent and my husband could pick from one of the above for me. I continued to put up a fight and verbally protest. I quoted scripture and made a passionate argument for what felt like an eternity. Then by the grace of God two doctors stepped forward joining my side. They simply couldn’t allow me to be over ruled after hearing how well I made my arguments. I got option number three: early delivery and a fight for my child’s life and then surgery for me to fight for my life. I could live with this option it gave us both a fighting chance. It respected God’s love for us both! Why this option was the last one and in the medical professional’s view, the least favorable, I will never understand.

        It is twelve years later and my Daughter is happy and healthy. Choice number three is the best one I have ever made. Not a day goes by that I don’t believe that God has kept us both because of my choice to honor his word and will. I chose life for my child, I understood that I could die doing so, but I also understand now as I did then that God never promised me an easy life with no challenges he only promised to be with me threw out this life I live regardless of how long or short it might be.

        I write this to let all women know that when you are pregnant you are your child’s first voice. What you speak will either bring life or death to them. Please speak life! It is wrong to view their lives as less than our own. Just because they are not born yet does not give us the right to hand out a death sentence upon them. No one will love, protect, and care for your child as you will. You must be fully ready no matter what should happen to do what gives your child a chance to live too. If you could close your eyes and for one moment tap into the feelings of what an unborn child must feel would you not fight harder for them. They are real living people. This is someone we are talking about not a something; a person whom you are sheltering inside your womb. Nurturing and for whom you are called to give voice for. You are your child’s first voice please speak up for their rights!

        I was taught in civics class that my rights end where another’s rights began. Just because a child is in its mother’s womb does not give us the right to strip it of its rights. Does this fragile life not demand us all to speak up for it? To defend the rights the unborn child has if for no other reason simply because the child has rights! This is not about the mother’s rights, it is truly about the rights of her child and where they began the mother’s end. Please consider the consequences of stripping the rights from the weakest most vulnerable of us, the unborn child; does this not pave the way to strip away from the strongest of us our basic rights as well?

        Consider what that one doctor would have cost me that day. Yes I might have lived through the surgery but I would have lost my right to be the mother of a wonderful 12 year old who is a wondrous blessing to my life. She is someone not only worth knowing, but also worth dying for. She is my daughter who laughs cries, plays, and woodworks, loves taking pictures and has won many awards. Has captured my heart gave me joy and challenges me every day to be a better me. I would have lost a life full of richness that only being a mother can bring!  All those years ago I couldn’t imagine how blessed I would be as a mother. I used my voice to speak life for my child with a hopeful heart. Today I can say that yes even if I would have died it would have been worth it, she was and is worth dying for. Nothing in life is without risk and becoming a parent is a great risk, but one that is worth taking. Do not let yourself be deprived of the chance to be a parent. Don’t let fear rule your life and strip you and your child of your voice!

        If you are pregnant and struggling to decide if an abortion is something you should do, take one moment right now. Close your eyes and put your hand on your stomach. Visualize the child who is in your womb and ask yourself who is this child you carry? What life will they have? Will they laugh and cry and play like you once did? Will they change the world some day? Where will they go to school and where will they work?  Who will they be… will they be your son or daughter…your best gift to God and this world? Pretend for one moment you can look them in the eyes… ask yourself this one question: Can I really pass a death sentence on someone I have not met yet? Know this, life is not meant to be easy and children are never convenient. God does not hand out perfection on this earth. We live this life to grow in our understanding of our own desperate need of God’s love. Jesus died for all of us, but not all of us will accept him. Should your child die for you as well? Who does the abortion do the most for? Will it really fix your broken life and give you a second chance? Imagine your dead lifeless child and the days after he or she is gone from you. Do you really think you will feel any different then? Will it make your pain go away? Think of having your child smile up at you and the great love you have to give to this child. Think of the days you could spend full of the joy a child can bring into your life. No it will not be easy and you will struggle, but in the end you will be blessed.    

        How will you be blessed? You will have a child smile up at you, need you, and fill your life with someone to love. You will watch as they grow up and find that there was always a place in this world for them. Most of all you will have had the chance to speak for another’s life, being empowered to be more than just your own voice. You are the voice of the next generation. The voice of life!

What Blood Buys

What Blood Buys

Abortion Mentality: The price of child sacrifice.

Written By: Deedra Mosley


What is abortion mentality?

There are many ways of looking at what is the mental reasoning behind those who support abortion. Some claim it is a right of the mother to terminate her offspring in utero. Others focus on the cases of unwanted pregnancies from rape. While many others focus on the health benefits to the mother such as cases they claim that termination would save the mother’s life. In every case those who are pro-choice feel they have valid arguments as to why abortion should be legal and excepted.

We will not be looking into each of these arguments in this article. Instead I want to delve into something darker. I want to take a walk through a world in which our psychological morals have been shaped by the legal act of abortion.

Here is a very interesting link to an article about abortion mentality.


When Jesus said for us to let the little children come unto him he did not mean for us to kill them.

Denial is a psychological defense mechanism that helps a person avoid a potentially distressing truth. It can also be looked at as a form of “avoidance”, which is another psychological term that indicates a person is doing all they can to not deal with a given situation. However you choose to frame it, recognizing its presence in your behavior can do wonders for your ability to know when to look at a situation differently from the way that comes naturally to you.


The above quotation is from an online post about denial. It is a part of a very interesting article by: Roger S. Gil.

It would seem that we are in denial about pregnancy. We want to believe that the child inside the mother is not alive or valid till birth. We see debates about when a child is a child. We deny that the start of growth is what produces a birthed child. We find ourselves denying that life began at that very moment of conception in order to excuse the willful murder of our offspring.

The lies we tell ourselves.

It was not a child. It did not feel anything. This is what is best for all of us. It is legal so therefore it is moral. It doesn’t hurt anyone. It is good for the mother.

These self wrought justifications are born out of denial. For these to be true we must first deny that the child will be an adult if let live. We must rob the person of the unborn child of its humanity in order to justify the violent act of murder. We must also lie to ourselves about the effect of the violence needed to perform the act of abortion upon the mother. We must, in fact, become a sociopath.

What is a sociopath?




1. a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience.

A lack of conscience.

We often hear murderers called sociopaths. The above is a definition which I found by searching Google. They justify their killings and they lie to themselves and others about the reasons they act as they do. They lack a conscience. Do we lack a conscience? Are we more like the murderers we imprison than we care to believe?

How we view our children shapes how we treat them.

Let us take a look at the impact of denying the unborn children their humanity.

If a mother has the right to kill her child in utero then why shouldn’t she be able to kill them once they are born? After all some aborted babies are still alive after being torn from inside their mother’s womb then they are placed aside to die. No one helps them survive the abortion. They have no value even after being born.

When a murderer is killing an innocent victim they are only doing what feels right to them.

When a Mother aborts her baby she is only doing what feels right to her.

Once we have justified the termination of a life we set in motion a new set of morals. Morals are what determine our belief in the acceptable. What we choice to do is based on our moral foundation. If we believe that it is acceptable to terminate a pregnancy that belief carries over into our view of what we have allowed to be ended. A child’s life.

We no longer set a value on the life of our offspring. It is viewed as an inconvenience and a health issue. Pregnancy is no longer a viable state of being in which life is created. It has been reduced to just another health issue. Life is no longer upheld as sacred. What moral conscience we once had has been replaced with no conscience at all. There is no longer a line between right and wrong. Murder has become the normal state of living. The focus has shifted to gratification of our person from the sacredness of the person the child would have become.

We are murderers.

Their blood is on our hands. As a Christian I have a moral obligation to cry out against such evil. Our churches have not only been silent too long on this issue but have failed to educate us on the psychological fall out from such acts.

If we, as Christians, are not having our morals shaped by God’s word then we are being shaped by the social media and entertainment world. Our morals come from some place. We can’t deny that we as individuals are shaped by what we believe. What we believe is shaped by what we accept. What we accept is shaped by the world we live in and partake in.

Child sacrifice is not something you want to believe you have ever taken part in. We know what it is. We understand that to kill a child is wrong? Or do we?

The rise of violence towards children today.


I have been unsuccessful in finding a detailed chart on the statistics and rates of child abuse for the last ten years. This makes me wonder if we have not been paying attention to what is happening in our world.

Time to step back and take a look at the messages we have aloud to sneak into our lives.

Reflections of evil and our programing.

For one of my last blog posts I covered self harming behaviors and how when we buy entertainment services our money goes towards all the programs. Including the pornographic or hyper sexualized ones which do in deed have self harming in them and support the message that self harming is okay. While looking into what is being offered and really asking the question is this in some way self harming behavior I discovered another trend. Many of the entertainment industries products not only support self harming but also support abortion mentality.

What happens when children are no longer valued?

Before you say that you have never supported self harming or child sacrifice take another look at the media around you. What are you really paying for? What really is the message behind the new wave of T.V. shows, Movies, Music, and Books that we have available for viewing with our paid prescriptions? It is not a stretch of the imagination for me to say that we all in some form or fashion are supporting immorality.

What can we do about it?

We can start by being honest about what fuels these perverse “entertainment” Medias. If you are wondering how we came to a place where in 2016 you can watch, listen to, and read about subject matter that once was considered unacceptable let me help you understand.

There is disconnect between what our laws here in the USA are and what we allow to happen to those who live in our country. Here is an example of disconnect: We will condemn murderers of children and imprison them without mercy, but we hail and praise Doctors who perform abortions which murder children.

We have now seen the rise of child hate. You can look at some of the popular horror movies and see how we now view our children. There once was a time that we feared harm coming to our children. The movies were about someone stealing our children or trying to hurt them. Now we see children as the source of evil. Parenthood is being portrayed as wicked and bring evil to us. Take as an example the soon to be released movie, The Boy.

Watch the official trailer for it on YouTube.


Ask yourself how the parents are being portrayed and how is the child being portrayed? What do you think shaped the plot of this movie? Can you see echoes of the abortion mentality here? Asking ourselves questions about what is behind what we are seeing produced for our entertainment is one way we can fight back against the immorality that has taken hold of our post abortion world.

I want you to think of the following topics that I have seen as trends in the offered entertainment world. I am going to tell you what is being shown to us and the abortion mentality behind it.

The Blood Runs Off Our Hands.

Depictions of sibling incest. The message behind this is simple: Having more than one child is bad. Children are sexual objects.

China one child rule. – Many of the agencies depicting underage or incest between siblings are either produced in or edited by Asian companies.

Depictions of children as killers. The message: Children are evil and kill us.

This plays to the thought that unborn children are a threat to the mother’s life.

Depictions of children as demons. This also plays up the thought of a threat to the mother. It makes the child something to fear, to hate, and to destroy. Mocks religious teachings of the child being virtuous and sacred.

Depictions of abortions being performed in which the mother is comfortable and has no long term emotional issues. This builds on the fallacy that abortion is good for women and safe.

A youth or child being murdered but floating from another place and feeling happy and okay with no real justice coming to their killer. This plays up to the dead aborted children accepting death and being okay with it as long as their parents find peace with it. It relays the message that justices is not needed for the dead.

These are just a few of the things you can find if you look through what is offered in any of the major online paid subscriptions. You may not watch these types of things, listen to music that supports it, or read the books which depict it. Just because you don’t doesn’t mean you’re money hasn’t supported it.

This type of psychological warfare on our morals has been going on a long time. We have seen a rise in it as our world’s morals have shifted to the obscene. New mental tactics are being used to persuade our morality away from what currently shapes our governing laws.

I covered the socially unacceptable first. There are children’s entertainment selections that are just as jaded. In the interest of making this post shorter I will leave off here. I challenge you to look at the socially acceptable entertainment which you do enjoy on a daily basis and ask yourselves if you can see any hidden messages in it which just might be shaping your and your children’s morals.

Remember just because it is within the legality of the law and people everywhere are doing it…that doesn’t make it right.

Corrective Vision

Corrective Vision

In today’s digital age we tend to grab onto posts that we think reflect our message and share them with our own input. There are many times we realize after the fact that what we thought we saw was not in fact what was really being represented!

I want to take a moment to analyze the following photograph which was shared as a representation of “weeds” by an unsuspecting group just this week. This photograph is the sole property of David Wolfe, who I will tell you a bit about in a moment. I want to take a moment to recognize his copyright and make sure you all know this is his work not mine.


Now this picture is not of weeds. What are we really seeing here? This woman is a mystic tree. She has branches growing out of her head and an owl as a third eye.” The third eye (also known as the inner eye) is a mystical and esoteric concept referring to a speculative invisible eye which provides perception beyond ordinary sight. In certain dharmic spiritual traditions such as Hinduism, the third eye refers to the ajna, or brow, chakra.” (This information was found on Google search)  You can do a Google search on owls used in paganism and find some very interesting things too. One thing that stood out was that owls are often used to represent a guide through the underworld.  We can thus interpret this art work as paying reverence to Mother Nature and her mystic all Seeing Eye which guides us through the underworld.  I will show you an actual picture of weeds below for comparison.


As you can see from the picture of weeds which I obtained from Google search images that there is a very big difference between the two photographs and what they actually represent.

This leaves us with the following question:

Who is David Wolfe?

Below is some of the info you can find on his Facebook page:

David’s Bestselling Books:
The Sunfood Diet Success System
Eating for Beauty
Naked Chocolate
Amazing Grace
Superfoods: The Food and Medicine of the Future
Chaga: King of the Medicinal Mushrooms
David has also appeared in numerous breakthrough films and documentaries.

Personal Interests
Water Alchemy

You can actually visit his webpage and see that he also is into astrology as well as mind manipulates.

Change your thinking…

Maybe it would be a good thing to change our thinking in this case. We should be more careful about promoting pagan images and realize that the Gospel of Jesus can never be aligned with the lies of Satan. Paganism is a far cry from Christian beliefs. We must be hyper aware of what we use to represent the Gospel.

If you want to have a study of paganism and how it is used in modern mind control you can look no farther than one of my favorite childhood movies. I admit I loved the movie “Bed Knobs and Broom Sticks” and it wasn’t until watching it last night that I became a bit curious about the content of it. I did a search and found a website that has very shocking information. Take some time and read it for yourself. You can find it at: http://www.pseudoccultmedia.net/2013/05/occult-disney-bedknobs-and-broomsticks.html

I hope this has made you a bit curious about what is being shared and what you are viewing on a daily basis. Media can be good, but it also can be bad.

Proverbs 4:23 – Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it [are] the issues of life.


Have a blessed day!

Deedra Mosley

Louise Green is BETA

Well, I finished book one! It is now being read and edited by a few close friends and family members. I’m really excited to be able to move on to work on book two!
I am hoping that by next month I can start the process of buying my ISBN. I want to get my book done and up for sale before too much longer. Editing seems to take forever. I keep finding little mistakes here and there.
I can say I started 2016 on a high note though. I won NaNoWriMo 2015, finished Louise Green & The Curse of the Bleeding Heart Necklace, and I hit 50 percent of my Physical Therapy goals! It was a wonderful end to 2015 and a successful start to 2016!


Click Baiting & #ing the world


I have posted before about self harming and covered a few points on the matter. Today I want to address the rest of my findings. These are my opinions on current day events and what is shaping our world. I am not a professional psychiatrist nor am I a doctor. I just want to add that this is from a pure writers point of view. As a member of the entertainment community and a consumer of the entertainment industries products I want to give you my opinion on what we are seeing happen today in our world.

Print I Just thought I would let you all know I won NaNoWriMo for the first time. I’m not just playing hooky writing this article. Winking smile 

As you know from my previous post about self harming I feel that we see forms of it across the board in our everyday life as well as in the entertainment industry. We covered many of the forms of self harming that one doesn’t usually think of as being in the category of self harming. We also covered the definition of self harming. You can easily look up the definition for yourself and rationalize what actions, activities, and behaviors including addictions might be in fact self harming.

In this post I want to look at another angle of the new wave of self harming promoting media industries goods. As an Indy Writer I am often encouraged to look at all the books and movies as well as music that have been produced by other independent entertainment individuals for the purpose of evaluating how my work stands up next to theirs. I often have to do research and compare my current project against what is available in a comparative media form. As a parent I am always prescreening the crap that is being put up on media sites we use to find ourselves something to entertain us as a family too. So I have spent some time now rejecting all sorts of media forms. Everything from simple “children’s” programming to more adult geared programming has crossed my path.

A while back I was condemning a current popular book series which has had a movie and sound track created for it as well. It falls into the dystopia genre. It is often referred to as a romantic story by a few people I know. I must say there is nothing romantic about it. Readers get ready because here comes my opinions.

First let me say that I have learned that the genre of romance is not applied to works based on the work actually meeting the defined word romance. It can actually be a disgusting perversion and a total vomitus waste of one’s time and be put into the romance genre. This is true of all other entertainment genres as well. One can no longer assume that the genre label is in any way endorsement of the content matching the actual desired ideals which we once had about certain topics.

To be fair many of even the trashiest books, songs, and movies do have actual plots and a story behind them. I am not saying that someone didn’t actually write out an idea board and seek to create something viable. Also, I am not attacking these available works based on my Christian standards. I have done my best to evaluate based on nonreligious ideals. So with this post I am not trying to sell you Jesus. I am just seeking to point out from a writers perspective some of the disturbing trends we can see if we actually take a look at what is being woven into our current entertainment industries.

I am doing my best to really stay impartial on what is really acceptable entertainment. I even went back and skimmed through some of the worst books, songs, movies, and yes video game reviews that had been reviewed by yours truly in the paste for various reasons. One was the whole self harming issue. Some documentaries were also revisited. I tried to look across the board at the entertainment I had rejected for my kids even. I have tried to set  aside any religious objections and look for what these all have in common.

Yes, even the rejected children’s shows shared common ideals which could be seen in the most shocking documentary. We can see some basic similarities in what is being produced for the public’s entertainment. They can even be seen in the ever popular click baited articles popping up everywhere. We can see them in the hash tags being used too. It is a double standard which has become our new modern theme song.


  We are creating monsters with media standards.


you see we tend to raise an outcry against certain behaviors when we see them on the news having been carried out in real life, yet if it is contained inside our current modern entertainment medias we just can’t get enough of it. As a matter of fact with our genre labels no longer actually reflecting the root word contained in them it leaves us with a whole new issue.

We are now seeing the re-defining  of certain concepts within our society. When you make a point to create a book which you label in the romantic genre and taut as romantic but have the romance defined not as the loving act of enticing emotional response, but have it defined based on depravity and cruelty against one of your characters there is a price to pay.

As we watch the news and see more and more violent acts being done to innocent people we must face the fact that our entertainment industries do play a part in creating the standards which are now being lived out in the real world. We can’t deny that what we view for entertainment does effect us.

It is about ideals. We are horrified over seeing a mother be attacked in her home, raped, and then murdered. Yet if we look at not just main stream media, but the small productions and independent works, we can clearly see portrayals of that very thing happening. Let me be clear, I am not seeking to vilify the media industry or take away from the individual’s responsibility for their own actions.

We need to realize that having a double standard is not going to create the kind of world we want to live in. I want to challenge you to look at the news headlines both world news and your local news then go and look at the available entertainment. Look through your online subscriptions and see what you find. Did you notice anything? Here is something I want you to do too. Watch or read or listen to some of the stuff you would not normally even give the time of day. Ask yourself if what you are witnessing is redefining socially acceptable standards. Then go take a look at what you usually have as your main entertainment… look at it and hold the portrayal of standards against those from the media you normally wouldn’t even waste your time on.  Are you seeing common themes? Are you concerned about the things you are seeing?

I am really concerned about what is being made available and what I am seeing in the news. I can’t help but think that we have started a spiral downwards. We will not see anything good come of the current excepted media standards. When you live in a world that seeks to define romantic endeavors in ways that encourage abusive behaviors, vulgarities, gross acts of indecencies, and does so trying to make those things look desirable and acceptable…. You shouldn’t be shocked to read headlines that mirror entertainment industry content. It gives me hope to see so many outraged at the current horrific news stories. Now if we can just carry it over to being outraged at what is being labeled entertainment I would be very happy.

Is it enough to be horrified when it is a news report and jump on the bandwagon of hash tagging your responses while sharing click bait titled news reports about it?

I can’t help but think about what we see in our news industry too. With the current trend of race baiting and political animosity grooming it is no wonder we are seeing more of it inside our entertainment industries productions. It is not healthy to feed hate and discrimination. So why are we doing it?

Now I want to address those who might say to me back up your just hating on non-Christian content. You are overly religiously sensitive. I am not saying you can’t have your secular media. I am just asking you to stop and think about the things being shown as good. I know very well I will never end rated R and up movies and I won’t be able to stop porn or the new unrated movies which try to pass themselves off as regular entertainment but are just glorified pornos. I am not even holding my breath to change one mind on the songs which are laced with profanity and violence towards others.  I hold no hope of even convincing one person that even without socially unacceptable themes the underlining Omni sexuality is not healthy for us. I just want to put out my opinion in hopes that you will think about it.

We live in a world where a male cartoon character gives birth to a child. A male cow cartoon character gives milk. Women can’t breastfeed in public without being shamed, yet you feel no shame in showing them as objects to be abused under the guise of romance. Children are being kidnapped at school functions, raped and murdered while we are protecting the legal murder of unborn babies. We need to realize that everything we do sends a message. If we do not take a hard look at what our current ideals are breading then the day may come when we wake up to a world we have lost the right to be horrified at.

We need to look at our double standards and make some changes. It is time to stop glorifying things that horrify us when it happens in real life. It isn’t that these media forms are without plot, or without thought, it is that they are being based on the wrong ideals for what is healthy for us as a society.

What A Mighty Mess

What A Mighty Mess


How long has it been since I blogged? I just had to fix two posts because I forgot to add tags and put them into a category.
I guess it shows that I have been away from blogging for a while. I had hoped to get some writing in at camp, but all I did was write in my journal.

So This is my post about being a messy poster!

Funny how we forget what we should do. I guess I can’t be boring and a spam artist too. Since I feel that my earlier posts were good so  I don’t feel too bad about blasting them multiple times due to making mistakes that needed fixing.

Of course if the updating of the posts did bug you I am sorry!

A Beautiful Pause

A Beautiful Pause


We finished four weeks of helping at camp. Looking back at it we are so glad we did help this year. We had a pause in our life and routines, but it was a wonderful pause. It was hard being away from home and having to keep the bills paid while basically living at camp. I never realized how much planning it takes to leave home and be a part of outreach efforts.

I took this picture while I was between sessions. I have a new admiration for moths and butterflies.  They fly miles away from their birthplaces into the unknown without taking anything with them! When we packed for camp we took tons with us. I can’t imagine leaving home without even one item!

We’re spoiled to having so much that we can’t imagine having nothing at all.

I am glad of the reflection that helping at camp with outdoor education this year has given me. It makes me more grateful for what I have and for those who travel far from home to help with outreach efforts.

It was a beautiful pause.

Sweet Sixteen

It has been sixteen years since my spinal surgery. I praise God for the many blessings in my life since then. This year I am learning to walk correctly! We are working on building up my strength as well.


I feel so very blessed to be able to walk and to be alive! This time sixteen years ago I was dying. A tumor had struck me down and was slowly killing me. I had no  way of knowing that today would ever come. I had spastic paralysis and was being wheeled down a long hallway toward what we all thought was my death.

I kissed my oldest daughter goodbye, and I couldn’t even dream of my youngest child existing. I couldn’t see how God was going to save me, raise me up, and give me life in the face of death.

Today I helped with outdoor education at Camp Nathanael. I stood, I walked and I lived. I am still bound by limitations such as a twenty five pound weight limit, but for all the things I can’t do I have found so many things I can do. For the healing that I have I praise God!

Sometimes in life we don’t get what we want. I never wanted to be disabled. I never thought that I would face anything as hard as this or as humbling. I also never imagined that I would be able to praise God for being broken. I do praise him though. He is a great and mighty God. My broken is his glory.

This is my sweet sixteen. I am alive! I can walk! I am beautifully broken!